We began this evening with me telling Bella I would order us a really good dinner if she would write a blog post about a new Sarah Palin TV special with me. Her response: “How many weeks do I have to do this?” (She’s apparently still mildly traumatized by the fish bludgeoning and caribou slaughter.) I promised it was only one night this time, and she agreed to help. So we’ll be live blogging! Stand by….
We get the “coming up” preview and Bella says, “I don’t like it already. It’s her voice!” It’s going to be a long hour. And, we’re off!
Sarah Louise Heath was born in Idaho, but moved to Anchorage so her dad could take a teaching job. The way of life is all about hunting and fishing. But for Sarah it life was also about religion and good old fashioned values. She went to the Assembly of God Church where people experience “being slain in the spirit” (I have NO idea) and talking in tongues. Sarah was also passionate about high school sports, where she got her nickname Sarah Barracuda. She was a real aggressive go-getter. She met Todd when he was the “best basketball player in Wasilla” in high school. He was the most desirable guy at Wasilla High with his old Mustang and truck — so Sarah had to have him. Sarah went to Hawaii Pacific College and then North Idaho College and stayed in touch with Todd, then came home to save money. She entered the beauty pageant circuit. She raised $1000 then transferred to the University of Idaho and paid her own way. She stayed true to Todd. (RIGHT!!) She moved back and became a sports intern, then, ever the opportunist, stepped in front of the camera when the reporter didn’t show up one day. But “she was the best we had at the time” (yes, they really said that), so they gave her a chance.
Lorenzo Bennet and Sarah’s college roommate are telling this story so far. Commercial… (Deep breath….this is moving FAST!!)
We’re back. Sarah left her job as a TV reporter to work on fishing boats with her boyfriend Todd. “They just decided one day to get married – and that’s typical Wasilla people.” Um, yah, we’ve noticed!! “8-months later” (Bwhahaha!) they welcomed their first son Track. Their second child Bristol was born in 1990. (I’m pretty sure that’s not right. Why do I have a database of Sarah’s children’s birth dates in my brain?!) Sarah then joined the Wasilla City Council as a part time job. In 1994, Willow was born. Sarah is all about basic government services, as opposed to “fun and fancy projects” so she decided to run for mayor in 1996 – and won! She played up her “pro-gun and anti-abortion stances” — and this is important for local politics WHY?! She lied about her opponent’s positions (shocker) and moved into City Hall. Wow, I’m distracted by her old face. She looks so different now! She “had a rough start” because she asked for the resignation of many council members. Sarah asked about the policy for banning books, but “NEVER” asked for books to be banned.
I look at Bella and she is brushing Turbo, the cat. (She NEVER brushes the cat! She must be really bored!) Coming up, when Palin was pregnant with Piper, she “wore a bikini and nobody knew she was pregnant.” OH wonderful, here comes the spin….Commercial….
Sarah ran for re-election and won by “like 70%.” While Sarah “ran the town,” Todd “ran the home.” I just choked on my dinner. I swear to you all that they just said, “You never know she is pregnant until about a month before she gives birth.” (WHAT?! Have you people SEEN the red-shirt picture?!) She is such a superwoman that she went back to work the day after she had Piper. Spin, spin, spin, friends of Sarah. We KNOW she was NOT PREGNANT with Trig! But I digress.
Sarah decided to run for Governor, but then was appointed to the Alaska Oil & Gas Commission, which is “serious” and “involves decision on a myriad of things” (yes, seriously). Someone illegally used computers and Sarah felt she needed to take a stand (wait, didn’t she support that other guy Joe Miller who illegally used computers?!), so she resigned in protest. He was found guilty by an ethics panel and forced to pay fines. She had really “irked” the Republican party.
Commercial. Bella is now playing with Polly Pockets.
In 2006, she ran for Governor of Alaska and won — becoming the first and youngest female governor. In her inauguration speech, she said, “Alaskans, hold me accountable.” (Now wait just a minute – isn’t that why she QUIT?) Todd became her right-hand-man and “was definitely conducting state business.” (HA!) Her governing style was unorthodox. She always had 2 Blackberries and read them during every meeting. If you wanted to know who she would appoint to a cabinet position — you could just open the Wasilla High Yearbook. If one of her childhood friends liked cows, they could be put in charge of state agriculture. She decided to take on corruption (I think they mean — she decided to be corrupt. Semantics.) She surprised everyone when she announced she was pregnant in 2008. Lyda Green says she had absolutely no idea. Trig was born and “looked just like all the other Palin children.” Mmmm-hmmmm. And Levi Johnston.
Bella: “You were not pregnant Sarah Palin, you dummy liar.”
Now we get a quick history of Troopergate. Her brother in law Wooten tasered her nephew. He was suspended for 5 days. She was found to have violated ethics rules but “nothing really happened to her.”
Up next….creepy Chuck and terminally pregnant Bristol!!
Back…Sarah was picked for the VP slot to reinvigorate the McCain campaign. She was so different — “she can skin a moose!” (WHY is that a plus for a VP candidate?) “One of the biggest things was that Trig was not her son and in fact belonged to Bristol.” Sarah comments and says it is the “epitome of stupidity what the media will delve into and twist.” We here at Politicalgates know that the media NEVER delved into it until recently, and still has not delved deeply enough.
But days later, a rumor surfaced that Bristol was pregnant with her teen boyfriend Levi Johnston’s baby. Levi has Bristol’s name tattooed on his ring finger (Bella says “awww, that’s sweet!), but they were not yet married. Sarah says that keeping families out of politics only applied to Barack Obama, not her family. A commentator says that she always puts her kids front and center, so she can’t really have it both ways. Bristol says that for every hater, there are 20 people who love her family (Didn’t pass math, eh Bristol?).
“She was incredibly polarizing” (ya think?!) during the campaign. Her speech at the RNC turned around the campaign.
McCain and Sarah campaigned together “like rock stars.” She was popular because on the issue of life she has “literally walked the walk.” (Um, not so much.) The media focused on Palin’s lack of experience. (They did?! Where was I for that?) “In what respect Charlie?” The commentator says that “George Bush probably didn’t even know what the Bush doctrine is.” Ok, that is probably accurate. Sarah “never said she can see Russia from her house” — Tina Fey said that. Then Sarah goes on to explain WHY she said it. HA!
Katie Couric asks Sarah what papers she has read and she says “all of them, any of them” – which makes it seem seem like she doesn’t read any of them, and is the “worst thing” she could have said. Sarah says she misinterpreted Katie’s question and took offense because she thought Katie was calling her a hick who doesn’t have any media outlets up in Alaska (huh?), so she was “flippant” in her answer.
The McCain campaign gets mad at her for “going rogue” by going off message. Obama wins the election. People only now recognize her for accusing Obama as “pallin’ around with terrorists.”
Coming up….”She came home with absolutely no friends.” Bella laughs out loud and says “no wonder!” Commercial…
She came back to her job as governor after the campaign. But Democrats no longer loved her, so her approval rating dropped dramatically. She was angry, and adversarial, so it was a “mess.” She never got off the campaign trail — she was doing anti-choice rallies in Ohio, while she was supposed to be governing. In December, Tripp was born. He doesn’t call her grandma, just “nana.” In July, she called a surprise press conference and quit her job. Shannyn Moore says that people had walked door to door in winter for her, and were REALLY disappointed and hurt when she quit. She quit to make money. That fall, her book Going Rogue went to the top of the best seller list and she was hired by Fox News. But somehow her Fox segments “always end up being about her.”
Next she starred in her own TLC reality show. She is “really savvy” at putting herself out there while also keeping herself isolated. (Boy isn’t THAT the truth!) She then became a huge force within the Tea Party. She is a different kind of politician – a celebrity politician.
Lorenzo Benet: “Sarah Palin is the living embodiment of the American Dream.” Not my American dream!
Speculation as to whether she will run for president. Bristol thinks she is “really smart” because of her “common sense conservatism.” She adds that she “says what needs to be fixed and how to fix it.” No, Bristol, she actually never really says how to fix anything. Bristol thinks she should run.
The show ends abruptly and Bella says, “yaaaaay!” LOL!
Wow…..that went REALLY fast. Discuss!
UPDATE by Leadfoot_LA
Sponsors of this program included:
Gerber Graduates baby food
V-Tech kids toys
Grand Marnier (not Baileys?!)
Filtrete water filter system
HBO’s “Game of Thrones”
Direct Buy Club
DiGiorno pizza (Our pizza options are growing slimmer each day)
RePHresh vaginal gel for feminine odor (HAHAHA)
Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls
Universal’s “Bridesmaids” movie
Tyler Perry’s “Madea’s Big Happy Family” movie
Fancy Feast (with the cutest kitten commercial ever)
Olay Total Effects Dark Circle Minimizer
Michael Jackson’s Dance Experience for Xbox 360
Nice ‘n Easy hair color
South Beach Diet
The Art Institutes
Santa Margherita / Terlato Wines
Dave & Busters
Rimmel London mascara
HBO Films “Cinema Verite” movie
Quite a few Tea Baggy products! Do with this this info what you will! 🙂